Welcome to Shmookster.library

This is a sub-website to funnel any and all text tethered hyperlinks I forge into one central hub. Eventually creating the entire technical side of a human brain

Shmookster.arcade Shmookster.gallery Shmookster.library Shmookster.com

"Talk in party or die- Why is Jacks shlong so big I love it mary asked is big a juicy asked her mum. Yes very. The next day. JACK I WANT TO FUCK YOU LIKE A DUCK then lets go to the bed said jack. JACK HARDER said mary. *moaning* THE END"

[Beavis and Butt-Head were in the bathroom.] Butt-Head: I think birth control is a very important issue in a woman's life. I've looked into all the options, and I'm using the Today Sponge. That was cool. [The two boys laugh while they were in the bathroom] Beavis: I don't want gimmicks, I want a long distance phone company I can count on. [The two boys laugh again.] Beavis: Hey Butt-Head, Mr. McVicker says "If we laugh and more in class, we're gonna get expelled." Butt-Head: Yeah, that would be cool. [The two boys laugh once more, and then the scene cuts to Beavis and Butt-Head at Sex Education class.] Coach Buzzcut: So, BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD! I understand Mr. McVicker has made a little arrangement for you guys! Yeah, a little probation. You see, class, BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD HERE are not allowed to laugh for a whole week. That's right, AND IF THEY DO LAUGH, they'll be expelled, and they'll have to go to Hope High School, WHERE THEY'LL GET THEIR ASSES KICKED ON A DAILY BASIS BY ALL THE OTHER DELINQUENTS, HA HA HA!! [The entire class laughs at their horrible situation, but Beavis and Butt-Head know they better not laugh at that comment.] Coach Buzzcut: Well, I was REAL GLAD to hear that, because this is Sex Education Week. That's right, SEX ED WEEK! [He hears Beavis and Butt-Head trying to giggle, so he gets closer to them to start yelling in their faces.] We're going to be talking about THE PENIS!!! [He gets right into Butt-Head's face, as he tries to hold back from laughing.] We'll be talking about THE VAGINA!!! DO YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY, BUTT-HEAD?! DO YOU FIND IT AMUSING THAT WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT THE TESTICLES?! [Butt-Head covers his mouth, to stop himself from giggling too hard.] Yes, we're ALSO going to be talking about VENEREAL DISEASE! SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! THE SCROTUM! THE CLITORIS! AND... [He then pulls Butt-Head's hand away from his mouth. Butt-Head starts crying from holding it back so hard.] AND WE WILL DEFINITELY BE SPENDING A LOT OF TIME TALKING ABOUT MASTURBATION!!! [The entire class explodes into laughter as Coach Buzzcut returns to his desk, while Beavis and Butt-Head look like their about to explode.] Coach Buzzcut: Well, now that that's out of the way, let's take roll. BUTKISS!!! Daniel Butkis: Here! [He laughs, knowing they can't laugh at him anymore.] Coach Buzzcut: GAYLORD!!! HYMEN!!! [At the end of the day, Beavis and Butt-Head dart out of the school, and literally explode into laughter red faced and their colors returning thereafter, with sweat pouring off their bodies. A few hours later, as they finally make it home, they're still laughing from earlier.] Butt-Head: And then, he said "penis"! Beavis: Yeah! And then, he said "masturbation"! Butt-Head: And then, he said "vagina"! That was coo

Guys ethan lard ass went missing :( that stinks

FUCK RINGLING

“Robin half died doing what he loved , [REDACTED]. whatever robin left behind is radioactive mushy mushy mush mush have you seen the slushy cup that turns whatever you want into a slushy someone turned cigarettes into a slushy it’s pretty cool.” -my obituary

i’m taking a shit

I can say the ABCs backwards, Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q, P, O, N, M, L, K, J, I, H, G, F, E, D, C, B, and A;

"Who’s joe?" a distant voice asks. Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location. The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar. ”Joe Momma…” the creature whispered. The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear. "I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.

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