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Cigarette Daydreams

10•5•2025

Just two weeks ago, I sparked my first cigarette. And in the time since, I've grappled with the act of feeding into the tobacco industry as a devout socialist.

This whole "first cigarette" ordeal was premeditated. I was gonna smoke the one cigarette and that would be that. The fella giving me the square said these things were the absolute cream of cancer sticks. It was an American Spirit brand cigarette fresh out of its orange, lamiated pack, and I'll be damned if that thing wasnt a pleasant experience that tingled all the senses just right. The aformentioned fella had this uncanny smile on his face that grew wider and wider with each puff I took. "You're a natural smoker" he said with an air of accomplishment.

Had I truly accomplished anything? I'm not really sure, but the experience definitely was life-changing. I am now forever someone who has smoked; a positive income stream for big tobacco. And yet, I can't say I regret anything that happened that night. I don't regret the bold, herbal taste that lingered in my mouth and I don't regret the slightly increased cancer risk. It gives me something to do with my lanky ass hands and the headrush is that of one-thousand orgasms.

The act of holding a pristinely rolled cigarette between your fingers, pressing the filter to your eager lips, and setting that thing ablaze carries with it this bubble of debonair danger. It is cool. People can deny, deny, deny all they want, but it's true. You feel like some kind of fucking James Dean mobster cowboy guy whever that sweet smoke exits your mouth. This unyielding fact makes it even harder to balance the scales of capitalism and socialism in my conflicted phyche. One one hand, (one potentially fallacious hand, mind you) no true radical leftists should smoke. Too its core, its antithetical to the belief system. On the other, it feels really good. I don't have much else to say about this topic, but I hope it can resonate with my fellow noobie smokers.